When you want to listen to “Forever Young” there are a lot of choices. Bob Dylan’s is country fried. Rod Stewart’s (my favorite, natch) is simultaneously upbeat and nostalgic.  Then there’s this one. I fancy myself a fan/expert on all things 80s, but this song didn’t come onto my radar until Napoleon Dynamite. He walks into his high school dance with Alphaville blazing. So how good of a song is it?

In a word, it’s ridiculous. The vocals that come out of Marian Gold (née Hartwig Schierbaum) are really something. I don’t know if this guy was raised in the Alps or what, but he can hit notes at the mountain top. Be careful listening to the third chorus (right before the synth solo) because your ears might bleed.

Then there’s the lyrics. They start off sane enough.

Let’s dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we’re only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

At this point, I’m down. The need to dance, the angst of a teenager, even a little social commentary on war. But by the end of the second verse, I think they’ve lost it.

I don’t want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever
So many adventures couldn’t happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

A fading horse? Okay. And let me get this straight: Young people are like diamonds in the middle of the sun? But they’ll still exist forever? And the adventures didn’t happen but the dreams did? I’m confused. But just wait.

Trying to understand the plot of the video is the epitome of confusion. The lead singer is dressed in a red jumpsuit like Sigourney Weaver could have worn in Ghostbusters. He’s singing to a bunch of sleepy people who look like extras from Time Bandits. Eventually, his nonsense lyrics lead them into a blindingly bright hole in the wall (Walk toward the light!) through which they walk, amazed and delighted.

Watch for yourself. Video below the fold. Enjoy!